Yesterday was our first official day as the youth pastors of Full Life. Even now, it seems so surreal that we've been blessed with this amazing opportunity. I am just in awe of how God has directed our life, one step at a time, to bring us to this place. And I know that He'll continue to do just that.
During the past couple of weeks I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the past year and the journey that it's been. I've been reading through my Moleskine notebook and journal filled with all my thoughts, questions, and prayers from the past year. One thing that was pretty consistent throughout the many pages was a question - "God, what is your plan?"
I asked this question numerous times over the last dozen or so months...and it's a question that I've asked a lot throughout my entire life. I'm a planner, and ever since I was a child I've loved knowing what to expect so I could be ready for it.
But life isn't predictable. In fact, it is quite unpredictable.
If there's one thing that God taught me (again) last year, it was to trust him completely with my life and everything in it. Trusting someone doesn't mean questioning what they're thinking or why they're doing something...trust is, as the dictionary puts it, "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of a person or thing; confidence."
During the times I struggled with doubt and uncertainty I would often turn to husband and say "I don't understand..." He would then gently remind me that "we are not called to understand, we're called to obey."
God doesn't often show us the big picture. If he did show me the big picture, I think I might be terrified and try to run in the opposite direction. His plans and dreams for our lives are always so much bigger and better than any plans we could make for ourselves (Jeremiah 29:11). His dreams are bigger than us and our capabilities and way beyond our comfort zone, so that we learn to lean and rely on him.
He shows us one step at a time, and our job is to be obedient and take that first step...and then the next one...whether it's a big step (like moving to Nashville away from family and friends) or a little one (like getting up at 6am to pray and read the word even when I feel like sleeping for a couple more hours). :)
"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." - Martin Luther King, Jr